Revs @ DC ends 1-1, Thoughts Of Buring Iowans Dancing In My Head

Well, last night's game almost drove me back to the bottle. I'd gladly put back on the 30 pounds I've lost and suffer the internal infections I was getting that led me to take a long break from my regular pub calls if MLS didn't give me another reason to jump back on the conspiracy bandwagon (this is something I do every few years on my own, but a bladder infection in September and a viral infection in an uncomfortable place in November prompted this healthy phase).

Last night, the Revs went into DC with seemingly the same strategy they've used in every away game: play defensively, hope for a score, and then play even more defensively. The plan seemed to be working as New England stifled DC's attack throughout the first half.

Then, right from the start in the second half, the Revs struck with a brilliant upfield pass from Shalrie Joseph to Taylor Twellman who had his shot deflected to the waiting feet of Andy Dorman. The welshenglish-american then finished it for one of the easiest goals of his MLS career.

Then, in the next minute, James Riley was called for a clear shoulder to shoulder situation in the box with Jaime Moreno which the despicable diver finished from the spot. I guess the ref was worried Barra Brava might not be as loud for the national TV audience and needed to do his best to swing the momentum back in DC's favor. That's my most benign theory on that absolutely dreadful call. As it happened, I thought for an instance that Moreno was getting called for diving. Instead, Moreno converted his 30th penalty of his carreer, a stat that will cause Taylor Twellman an extra two seasons to pass the cherry-picker on the all-time goals list.

Then, in an officiating scene reminiscent of Leslie Nielsen's umping antics before calling strike three in "The Naked Gun", Referee Terry Vaughn gave Shalrie Joseph a red card for beating Ben Olsen to the ball. Yes, he went in hard. However, it was a borderline foul at best. If he gave a yellow to him for consistently going in hard, that would have been one thing. However, giving a red card for that play on it's own was both flat out wrong and a game-changing decision.

On a side note, Ben Olsen clearly was giving the "card him" gesture after the play. MLS has been clear about that gesture warranting a yellow card this season. I guess all four referees missed it. If the Revs appeal, or in a more likely case MLS reviews it to see how much money they can bleed from the underpaid player, they have to see Olsen doing that gesture. Of course, Olsen is in the US player pool and hasn't been complaining about his salary, so there is little chance of any punishment after the fact. I'm usually against such retroactive punishment, but this game brought out the homerism in me.

Brian Carroll's late handball in the box wasn't called, and for good reason. Referee Terry Vaughn was too busy beating a drum with the Screaming Eagles and smokinh crack with Marion Barry. That's the only logical explanation for the no-call.

The Revs did bunker down with effectiveness after the Joseph ejection. However, it took an absolutely brilliant save in the closing minutes by Matt Reis to avoid a loss. That must have brought a tear to the eyes of MLS officials who saw DC United's marketing potential diminish with them settling for only their first point of the season. They quickly went back to what they do best: writing phony press releases embellishing their successes and attempting to shake down education money from municipalities to build soccer specific stadiums.

This blogger does not encourage the act of pooping in a Pringles can and mailing it to Terry Vaughn. Especially since there is more than one Terry Vaughn in the Iowa phone book (I checked). They are all probably his brothers and sisters, so if you wanna risk it, go for it. However, you're on your own. I can't bail fellow supporters out of jail every time they do something threatening to a ref. The "put Micheal Kennedy in a rack until he grows to four feet" incident pretty much drained my bank account.

Seriously, of all the places to find a referee, MLS goes looking in Iowa?

This result makes the Sunday's home game with Chicago even more important. A win and the Revs are right up there with the other top performing teams in MLS. A loss, and the team is clearly stuck in the middle of the table for some time. A position I feel their away performance has justified.